I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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