I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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