told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
