I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
