so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
