Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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