I want to walk on stilts...naked
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
