I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
