happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
