my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize