Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
