Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
