Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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