see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
