I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
