I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
soo... how was my night?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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