Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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