I have demons in me.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
