He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
