I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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