i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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