she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize