Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize