I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
