So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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