Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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