last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
