a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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