Can Purell be used as lube?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
