I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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