guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
