Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
