I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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