Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
