I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The power of my boobs compel you
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
