there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
