You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
