dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
