Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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