Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry infidel7castro hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(858): View more from California

Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'

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(847): View more from Illinois

tweet Hawks Win!! tweet

(847): View more from Illinois

That's how twitter works, right?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.

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(305): View more from Florida

considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".

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(636): View more from Missouri

It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex

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(303): View more from Colorado

I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese

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