I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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