I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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