I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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