so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
