Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
