Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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