i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i may or may not be watching the land before time
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
