Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
