I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
