do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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