i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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