And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
