There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
