I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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