I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
