i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
