I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
