you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
