spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
