Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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