Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
