It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
